to have faith.:

There are so many things going wrong in this world right now.

Crime and hate are just 2 of the things, to name a few.

In my personal opinion, the worse possible act that man has ever conducted or orchestrated is the act of deceit. The target: Gullible public. The medium: Religion. The victim: No, it's not us, it's the Religions.

I have publicly declared myself an Agnostic (if any of you cared). I was born Muslim and alot of people have been condemning my act of severing ties with my religion, but only because they are too ignorant to actually understand what Agnostic is. I am not an Atheist. Let me highlight those two:

ag·nos·tic /ægˈnɒstɪk/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ag-nos-tik] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.

That's Agnostic. Atheist, on the other hand:

a·the·ist /ˈeɪθiɪst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ey-thee-ist] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.

Do you see the difference between the two? I'm not going to spell it out for you, because I know nobody is dumb enough to not be able to tell the difference. As someone who's Agnostic, I do not disbelieve religion. I take them with an open mind and only believe in Peace, which is what religion is about anyways. The reason I took this road is only because religion has turned into politics... and I hate politics. It complicates matters to no end and I hate taking sides.

In an era of 'religious causes' and 'Jesus Camps' and 'Jihad', it's great to see that in smaller quantities, there are people who fight for the higher distal cause... which is ultimately, peace.

I'm going to give you a link to a youtube video... it's not the video I want you to see, although it is beautiful I have to admit, but I want you to read the comments... all 78 of them. Not one of them is slandering Islam, in fact, they respect it.

So let's all say... there is hope for the human race. Amin, Amen, Shalom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAvlimEYEpQ

a new lease?.:

It's 6.15 in the AM right now and I'm still not asleep.

My plan was to get some shut eye at around midnight or so, so that I would be able to get up early (or earlier) in the morning to get my things done. I've been putting off almost everything for the past 2 days because my ass just wouldn't move.

It would, but just to reach for the remote or type unnecessary crap like this. I remember mentioning somewhere last Friday that I wouldn't sleep for a night so that I could reset my bio-clock and all that shit... well apparently, that didn't happen. I still went to sleep. So the plan has been dragged for about 2-3 days and now here I am, trying to occupy myself so that I won't get bored and sleepy.

This whole 'I quit my job' thing hasn't been easy. Due to procrastination (mine and OTHERS) I haven't been able to get ahead in any ways. My plans are still valid and I'm still going to go for it... question is... when? It's just times like these that I feel I should be doing stuff all on my own, so that I don't have to wait for everyone's 'convenient time'. They're caught up with their shit and here I am, sitting on my ass, wasting time and air doing nothing.

It's just not fair to me.

So I've decided that I'm going to take back what's mine... control over my life and ignorance towards others, if it affects mine in a bad way. This situation is getting abit out of control and only I can stop it. It's just amazing how much patience I've shown. This is MY LIFE we're talking about.

Shut up lah bodoh. Do something about it.

Casshern.:

I have to admit that I'm slow. In my defence, I was never mature enough to actually be interested in Japanese movies, simply because they were too abstract and complexed for me. Back then, I was more into movies like 50 First Dates, Starsky & Hutch, Van Helsing, Troy, The Day After Tomorrow, you know, mainstream Hollywood production.

I only started getting into 'weird', 'mindfucking' and abstract movies somewhere around last year. Therefore, I missed Casshern when it first opened in Singapore. Ironically enough, I had quite a strong urge to catch this movie, because it was Japanese, based on an anime and there was a 'superhero' involved. Not to mention the poster they put up at Cineleisure was nicely done (see on above).

To be honest, I'm not really sure if it's based on an anime, but after much research online (where else is the best place to do it?), courtesy of Wikipedia.com , I found out that the original run for this anime was in 1973. Eleven years before my actual existence.

31 years later, this masterpiece was born. I am pretty sure that the original anime was nowhere near as artistic as this live action version and neither do I know how faithful this version is, but they did an ode to the original helmet design for Casshern in the movie.

The entire movie ran pretty long, almost 2 1/2 hours. This movie is definitely epic. The vision was excellent, the movie was well explained at the end (and it wasn't that difficult to figure out) and there were plenty of beautiful scenes that involved great emotions clashing.

The fight scenes were awesome. My only gripe is that there were only 2 major fight scenes. There were a few actually, but there was this one scene that merely consisted of an Iaijutsu scene on top of a flight of stairs and the other one cannot be considered a fight scene because I could not make anything out; everything was moving at breakneck speed. But that was probably the whole idea, and you'd get it if you already know how that scene ended.

Years ago, I would switch this off halfway because it's too slow and I probably won't understand the fucking slow scenes. And when I say fucking slow, I really mean fucking slow. Why do you think the movie is 2 1/2 hours?

If you're in it for the action, you won't be disappointed. Problem is, I don't think the action sequences are enough for you to think that it's worth it. I say, rent a DVD and fast forward to those scenes. Then return it an hour later.

This movie is full of emotion and some scenes will make you cry and move you. So, if you don't, then you're emotionless and should probably go to hell. Or you're still a kid. Either ways, you should go to hell.

P.S.: The reason I'm not asleep yet, in case you were looking at the time on this post and wondering, "why the fuck is he still awake?", is because I've slept too long this past weekend and I'm sure I'm going to sleep until like 12pm or 1pm the next day.

Which of course, I'm trying to avoid. It's a bad habit and I don't want any of that. So I'm planning to reset my body clock by not sleeping this whole night and then sleeping early on Monday night, so that I will be waking up early on Tuesday morning.

I don't know if it'll work, but I'll keep you posted.

good evening, infidel.:

How complicated can infidelity get?

I've just discovered how complexed such a problem could be, involving people who shouldn't even be in the picture in the first place. I shall not go into detail (not even the slightest bit) and I thought that I could offer help, seeing as I've been in such a situation before (the cheater and the cheatee).

But when I uncovered the entire story, I was totally mindfucked.

end of days.:

That was that. At earlier this afternoon (Thursday), I packed my belongings with haste and left the office, never to come back again.

I was having the final lunch with 2 of my colleagues when I thought about the great times we had and all that. I'm the kind of person that gets emotionally attached to something when exposed to it for a long period of time. Call me sentimental.

So I left with a slightly heavy heart, knowing that I'm leaving behind great people.

And then when I thought about the shitty workload and the amount of stressed involved, I snapped back to reality.

clean this shit up.:

So this is what goes down when someone is serving their month's notice. You become their dog.

Not only that, they ostracize you, making you feel weird inside, and the want to leave elevates. Tomorrow is my last day in this office. Been here for about 13 months already and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm dying to leave.

In retrospective, I think the problem isn't with the people here. It's with me. I am a 'yes' man. When it comes to work, I'd be the person that everyone would go to because they feel that I'm someone they can rely on to not disappoint them with a 'no' or 'sorry, I'm pretty tight with the deadline, go fuck yourself' and similar excuses.

I'm not trying to show that I'm the nicest guy in the world, because almost everyone knows I'm not and can be mean when I want to be. I have this inferiority complex and I'm a constant worry-er. Which is pretty funny actually, because I can be so ignorant over important matters. But let's not dwell into that (probably another time).

On a lighter note, I finally gave in to peer pressure and kowtowed to the trend-following masses who joined Facebook. Yes, I now have an account. I vowed never to create one, but after analysing the risks, I found that I had absolutely nothing to lose.

And now that I have one, I discovered a side-effect of owning an account.

It fucking sucks up my time and it's very addictive.

I still love myspace though.

trial and terror.:

I guess I was wrong.

I guess these phenomenons known as peer pressure and influence are in existence. It's true when they say that you don't know it until you've gone through it yourself. Should I be this gullible? Should I just give in to mainstream ideals and shatter my own?

Just so you know, I don't aim to be different or individualistic. I have a set of ethics and morals that I have built a foundation on through experience, research and years of sifting through different religions (I didn't participate in them, I just read more about them).

One common trait of ALL the religions around the world is Peace.

Ironically enough, the basis of most wars in our history is religious differences.

So, obviously enough, this entry is about religion and how it's affecting me. Although it's definitely not impactful enough to change me into a 'better person' aka 'a mercenary of God'.

Nobody needs a religion to be a saint (no matter how blasphemous that sounds).

one week.:

It's the final Monday at work. A week from now, I'll be sipping Pina Coladas at the beach, waiting for my tan to set in.

Ok, so maybe that's what I wish for, but still, being free from this job is as good as abovementioned. Phrasing it in that manner makes it sound like it's complete and utter torture, but that's not deviating from the truth. It is as bad as it sounds.

Things were completely fine at the start. If you read my first few posts about a year ago, I was actually waxing lyrical about it. I suppose the system here degraded with time, and it didn't help that I kept quiet about everything.

The only thing that's bothering me about resigning is the fact that life is going to be a complete turnaround. I'm going to have alot of freedom and probably too much spare time. I'm just afraid that it may drive me crazy.

At this juncture, I shouldn't be without a job for more than a month. And I know that the line of work that I am going for will probably leave me without a stable income for at least 3 months (if I'm lucky). I'm sure most of you know what I'm going for.

If you don't mind, I have over 300 over emails to scan through (25% of them is about big dicks and viagra, fucking spammers) so, rant over.

what i've done.:

I apologise if I haven't been updating regularly. As you can see, my life has been quite eventful recently. Each photo is, give or take, 319 words each, so that's 5742 already.

That's good for like 20 blog posts.

Ok I kid. I'll do up a proper post soon enough.

the reality of mortality.:

Fate/Destiny.

Honestly, not a big believer. I dismissed these notions as nothing but mere fiction; misfiring of the synapses, thinking that Man probably made this idea up as a failsafe device preventing them from going into further thought or depression.

A defence mechanism, if you will. Humans are well known for having this need to justify consequences and their actions.

As life goes on, however, the definition of fate became a little clearer to me.

Call me a realist and impressionable, but my initial definition of fate was an event or occurance that was prophecised to happen. I am a big fan of the Matrix franchise. Yeah, I know, don't say it.

After awhile of experiencing what life has to offer, that very term became a blur. I didn't really know how to classify or define. It's meaning became alot wider and more infinite.

The only kind of fate that I would really buy right now is an event or happening that is beyond control, i.e. hereditary diseases or conditions. That's definitely beyond our control.

But don't give me crap like, "I don't know if I'm going to pass this exam... it's all in the hands of God."

Is that a spin to: "I'm a lazy fuck and I've been trying to tell you that but you won't buy it, so I'm going to depend on nothing but God, which is a euphemism for luck and coincidence."

Very smooth.